Music.  🎧

Who would we be without it? 

It’s the soundtrack to life and it has always been both my escape and my therapy.  

It narrates, amplifies, and heals, and even when you don’t notice it, it’s glued to your subconscious.  

Like I Wanna Be Down by Brandy.  

Every time I hear it, I see a family member’s brutally disfigured face lying in her coffin.  

She passed away in the late '90s after the car she and her friends were driving veered off a steep mountain, plunging down onto a massive boulder.   At her funeral, those 11-year-old eyes of mine caught a glimpse of her face through the open casket.

After the burial, the family gathered for a BBQ. On the way, we stopped at the grocery store, and as we, the kids, waited silently in the car, I Wanna Be Down played on the radio.  My brain made the connection, and her face has been tied to that song since 1996.

Or Just for Now by Imogen Heap.  During the 2 seconds that (my ex) Cara and I dated (before making it official), I totally romanced her in the best way I knew how.  Music. I was at a bar with my bff and a couple of stiff drinks later, I thought of this idea.

I wrote her a note on a napkin, dedicating the song to her, then went and bought the CD. That night, we drove to her place, and I tucked the napkin inside the plastic case above the cover, slipping the CD under her windshield wiper.  The following morning, she was greeted by my romantic gesture. 

Then there are songs that aren’t tied to a specific moment but rather, a period of time in our lives.  Like Y Control  by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.  It was the soundtrack to my life many moons ago, when I was in full rebellion mode, right after high school. 

My dad, who enforced strict control over us, succeeded at keeping me in line growing up.  Once he moved out after he and mom separated though, boy oh boy did I go off the rails.  I had a lot of catching up to do, and I did exactly that.  Me and my $40 fake ID spent a lot of time in Mexico.  So many how did I get home last night? moments.  I used to joke that if I didn't wake up with scraped knees, it wasn’t a fun night. 

After living like an immortal for so long, I started to wonder how I managed to survive it all.  Then one day, my drunk friends and I walked a few blocks from the bar to a taco place in Mexico at 2AM, and as I sat there, drunk as fuck, I looked up and realized that my dad was parked outside of the restaurant. 

He’s a homicide detective in Mexico and as it turns out, sometimes he followed me around in his patrol car to make sure I was safe.  Apparently, I still needed dad to save me from myself, and he totally did.  His parenting methods were not my favorite growing up, but they kept me alive. Dad has saved my ass so many times, I’ll need a full blog post to tell you about it.    

But tonight, I’m celebrating music and the crucial role it plays in preserving my sanity.  At a time in my life where uncertainty is the norm,  the path ahead is foggy as fuck, and the map is one I drew, nothing soothes and softens me like blasting music in my car so loud the bass won’t let me see through my rearview mirror.  That's because I’m the car you are either annoyed by or worried about at the intersection.  You know the one.  

If it’s been awhile since you’ve been on a rollercoaster, not to worry. Here's my eclectic playlist.   

Dearest music: this is the first of many love letters to you.  

For helping me through hard times…

And bringing a smile to my face. 

For transporting me somewhere else when I couldn’t cope with reality…

And keeping me sane.  

For the lyrics and sounds that feel like I could do anything...

And the really aggressive ones that mute out my fears as I prepare to lift intimidating weight off the ground. Will this break my back? Well shit, let's find out. Cue Metallica.

For the memories that you will never let me forget…

And the future you’ll play an extremely important role in.  

Doing life as you serenade me through my speakers is everything.  We go all the way back. Remember when I'd sit in mom's car at 9PM on Sundays to listen to that one radio show? And that one night I discovered Sleep Walk by Ritchie Valens? I couldn't fucking believe it. It felt like I discovered gold.

Yes, this is a love letter to you, my sweet gorgeous music.  

Rock on. 🤘

-KARLA